I Should Have Kept My Big Mouth Shut about the Bangkok Floods
In my last post I mentioned my good fortune to have been spared the worst of the Bangkok floods. I even told my family back in Ireland that there was no longer any cause for concern. I’ve been suffering from Thailand flood fatigue so it came as a relief to be able to be able to turn off from it all– I even stopped checking the Thai flood Twitter alerts. I should have kept my big mouth shut, because I’ve angered the Thai gods with my presumptuous claims.
The Floods Have Come to My Part of Minburi
I woke up this morning to a few puddles of water outside our house. The water level has been increasing all day; it is now higher than the worst day of flooding we had here this year. The water is continuing to rise, and it really could end up in our house this time. I’ve predicted this same outcome before so I probably sound like the middle-aged man who cried “wolf”. I guess it can’t keep rising indefinitely so I just hope that it levels off within the next few hours.
I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but the main reason our estate has remained dry is that there has been a pump working around the clock. It is a fantastic piece of machinery. I certainly do not begrudge the few hundred baht we were asked to contribute for diesel. Money well spent is all I can say; I’d be willing to contribute a lot more if I thought it would do any good. The problem is that this pump has nowhere left to redirect the water; we are basically living in the middle of a huge lake. Even the most powerful pump in the world wouldn’t be of much use to use now.
The Waiting is Over
The last few weeks have been so stressful. The worst thing was waiting and not knowing what was going to happen next. There were so many false alarms when we were told that the floods were bearing down on us. It is sort of a relief to have the water arrive now. I guess deep down I never truly expected that we would get through this untouched. The next few days are going to be kind of interesting. I must remember to recharge my camera in case the power gets cut off.
Do People Know When They Are Having Their Best Day?
I hear people make the comment, “this is the happiest day of my life”, but I wonder if that is just something they say. I suspect that the days that people look back on as the happiest will often have gone unremarked upon at the time; probably because they were too focused on something better that they hoped would happen in the future. It could be that these happy days are only ever acknowledged in retrospect and that is a real shame.
Reasons to be Cheerful Now
There are so many good things in my life at the moment. The problem is that too much of my thinking is devoted to the things I’d like to have. I’m never really satisfied because of an inner compulsion to keep moving the goal posts; the life that will really make me happy is always over the next hill. John Lennon described the situation perfectly when he lamented that, life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans – he got that one right for sure.
When I examine my current situation there is not much to complain about. Amazingly the Bangkok floods seem to have missed our house, and things are going well with work. I’ve got a wonderful wife, and my son is still at that golden age where almost everything he does is cute. This really could be as good as it gets and there is no shame in that. When I gave up my alcohol addiction five and a half years ago I never expected any of this; just not waking up every day feeling like shit would have been enough for me then.
If these are the best days of my life then I jolly well better get my act together and appreciate them a bit more. It is just hard to avoid being mentally sucked into the future. Meditation helps a lot but even with this I can be striving to reach some goal in the future. The only thing I have is now so to keep on pushing it away is just mental.
Addiction and Recovery Podcast Episode 51 Dealing with Disaster in Recovery – Anniversary Edition and Bangkok Floods Special
In this episode I discuss my experience dealing with the Bangkok floods. It is also the two year anniversary of the podcast. Press play below to listen
Back In Minburi and Thailand Flood Fatigue
I know that it sounds flippant, but I suspect that it is not just me who is developing ‘Thailand flood fatigue’. I do feel guilty for feeling this way because there are so many people who have it worse than I do. I just hate the waiting around; it is so stressful. It is now 2 weeks since we were told to prepare for the worst. Yesterday the Minburi helpline predicted that it will be another five days before the brunt of the water reaches us.
Back in Minburi
In my last post I described how we fled Bangkok to go stay in a hotel in Jomtien. It was such a relief to be away from the floods but it started to feel unnecessary. On the day we left we had been warned that the level of water in our area was going to reach one meter by that afternoon. We left and stayed away for five days but nothing happened. When we arrived home yesterday our street was dry as a bone.
So we are back to Minburi and waiting to see what happens next. The flood barrier that Oa built is gone, and we can’t get the material to build a new one. I’m not convinced it would have been much use anyway. On the plus side, we have already moved most of our belongings upstairs. I also managed to purchase a waterproof covering (they said guaranteed to be 90% waterproof whatever that means) for the car; thanks to those people who suggested I do this. We will probably try to escape again if the floods are coming our way. We have packed bags so that we are ready to go.
No Food and Water in the Shops
We had been warned that many shops in Bangkok are running low on food items. Yesterday we stopped off in Pattaya to stock up on groceries. Even though the floods are not due to hit Pattaya there has been a lot of panic buying there too; I suspect from people driving down from Bangkok to empty the shelves. We went to Big C on Sukhumvit Road, and they were missing many items including bottled water, milk, and dried goods.
Thai Flood Resources
I’ve been following the flood situation on Twitter by searching with the hash tag #thaifloodeng . There are some good people on there working hard to keep everyone informed. I’m sick of hearing about the floods, but I need to keep up to date. I also found this handy website that allows people to follow the situation in their area – this site has the wonderful title ‘Is my house flooded?’. There is also good information on Richard Barrow’s website Thai Travel News.
Escape from Bangkok – Running Away From the Thailand Floods
After 10 days of trying to ignore the approaching floods I finally decided to do something. I’ve taken my family out of Bangkok, and we are now staying in a hotel in Jomtien. Our housing estate had turned into a ghost town, and those few people who stayed behind were all a lot better prepared than we were. I think my wife did a great job building a cement wall to protect the house, but I just wasn’t convinced that it would be enough. We contacted an emergency number in Minburi yesterday morning, and they told us to prepare for at least 1.2 meters of water later that day. This would have submerged our car and left us stuck on the top floor of the house.
Ignoring the Floods is a Dangerous Gamble
I’m a more responsible person now than I was in my drinking days, but I’m far from perfect. I would say that the most damaging of my personality flaws is the tendency to ignore problems. When something goes wrong I just try to pretend it isn’t happening. My stress levels go through the roof, but I do not take the necessary action that would remedy the situation. I wait until the problem reaches a point where it is impossible to ignore (see my previous post here for another example of this tendency).
When my wife warned me of the approaching floods my initial reaction was to play down her fears. We had a lot of flooding a few weeks ago, but it didn’t cross the barrier of our home. I did begin watching the Thai news reports about the current situation, and this convinced me that things could get really bad for us. Still I felt completely unable to make any decision about how we should prepare. To be honest, I felt irritated every time my wife mentioned it – thankfully I managed to hide this irritation.
During my years as a nurse I became good at keeping a clear head in the midst of emergency situations, but when it came to my own family’s safety this clarity wasn’t there. This is why Oa ended up building the flood wall, and why I failed to move the car to higher ground earlier. It is also why I didn’t buy sandbags when we had the chance. My only reaction to the approaching devastation was to take a few photos and write about it on my blog.
Escape from Bangkok
The reality of getting my family trapped in the floods and losing the car finally hit me yesterday. I realised that sitting there passively was not only unwise but also irresponsible. Many people do not have the choice pack up and leave, but we did. Staying in a hotel for a few days is a bit of a financial hardship, but it is nothing compared to what other people are losing. It will be sad if the belongings we left behind are lost to the water but everything is replaceable. In some parts of Thailand people have lost everything – there have also been over 300 people who lost the precious gift of life.
We contacted one of the few remaining people who have stayed behind in our housing estate. The high floods have still not come to our area. It may turn out that abandoning Bangkok was unnecessary, but it was the responsible thing to do for my family.
The Floods of Minburi – Greetings from Fortress Garrigan
The water is continuing to rise outside our home here in Minburi. I can once again hear thunder clouds in the distance so we can look forward to another downpour this evening. Our main worry is Friday; this is when the water released from reservoirs in the north of the country is set to hit Bangkok. In order to save the financial areas of the capital this water is being diverted into the canals (you can read all about this here). Our house is situated in an area that is most likely to be affected. Already the local roads are impassible so we are stuck here until the emergency ends.
Bangkok Floods Have Caught Many With Their Trousers Down
I think most of us here have been caught by surprise. It is only really in the last couple of days that people have been taking the whole thing seriously. Some of my neighbors have abandoned their homes to go stay with relatives; others have barricaded themselves in for the duration. We left it too late to buy sandbags; apparently there still some available in the centre of Minburi but we’ve no way of getting to them. Some people have parked their cars in the airport or in department stores, and I sort of regret not doing the same.
Building Fortress Garrigan
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My wife is the smart one in the family and if it wasn’t for her we would be facing the floods unprepared. She has built a wall at the front of our property to protect us from the water. Our main concern is to keep the car safe. If water invades the house it won’t be nice, but it won’t be the end of the world either. The only thing that we need to be careful of is that we turn off the electricity before that happens. The worrying thing is that the water is rising even when it isn’t raining. Last night there was no rain but the water level rose silently.
I must admit that Oa did a fantastic job on the wall, but she made one glaring error. She cemented in the rain drainage pipe on our side of the wall. Luckily we noticed this before the cement had dried. I can’t help worrying how we are going to remove this construction once the flood is gone.
The weather people are predicting that once we get past the weekend it will be the end of the rainy season. The next few days are going to be interesting, but I doubt we will suffer anywhere near the same amount of hardship as people in some other parts of the country. I’m amazed at how little coverage this event is getting in the western media.
Getting Ready for More Flooding in Bangkok
When the water began receding form outside our home here in Minburi I took this to signal the end of the flooding season. If the news reports are correct (see here) the the worst is yet to come. We are expecting severe flooding within the next few days. The local authorities are handing out free sandbags, and we have been told to stock up on food. They are also warning people to take all their belongings upstairs.
A Perfect Storm for Flooding
The conditions in many parts of Thailand are already grim. My wife’s family in Phitsanulok has been living with the floods for two months now. Our old home in Lopburi has also been badly hit. We’ve been relatively lucky here in Minburi, but probably not for much longer. Experts are predicting major flooding between October 16th and 18th; if it rains again then we won’t have to wait that long.
At the moment the conditions for flooding could be described as the ‘perfect storm’. All the reservoirs in the North of Thailand have to start releasing water because they are already filled to capacity. This water will reach Bangkok around the 16th where it is going to clash with a high sea tide coming at the coast – this means that the water will not be able to escape into the sea. If that wasn’t bad enough they are also predicting more heavy rainfall over the coming days.
Good Reasons Not to Watch TV during a Storm
We had a bad thunder and lightning storm here two nights ago. My wife always insists that we turn the electrical appliances off, but I’ve always thought this to a bit of an overreaction. So I kept tapping away on my desktop computer despite the sky ripping apart outside my window. It was only when a lightning bolt hit a neighbor’s house that I got the message. The flash and bang so close scared the life out of me. I later found out that it wasn’t just me who was blasé about using electrical appliances during a thunder storm; the lighting blew up my neighbor’s TV set.
I grew up in Ireland where complaining about the miserable weather is a way of life. In Thailand people start a conversation by asking, “have you eaten yet?”; in Ireland the conversation starter is usually, “terrible weather, isn’t it?”. I never knew what ‘terrible weather’ actually meant until I moved to Thailand. The amazing thing is that people here cope with it so well. Life goes on.
The Things I Believe In
I’ve always been a bit of a soul-searcher. I do not have a religion as such, but on most days I would consider myself to be a philosophical Buddhist. What I mean by this is that there are many ideas in Buddhism that make sense to me. If one day these ideas stop making sense to me I’ll abandon them without a second thought. I even search the web for criticism of Buddhism, because I want to keep an open mind. In many ways my worldview is similar to the atheist, but I do not consider myself to be an atheist. I respect other believers too much for that, and there is much about atheism that makes me uncomfortable.
The Things I Believe In
I know that some people find it distasteful to discuss personal beliefs, but this blog has always been about me being open and honest about myself. I have no urge to convert anyone else to my worldview because there is a good chance that many of my ideas are wrong. Some of the things I believe in would be considered Buddhist but others would not:
- I think it is important to respect other people’s beliefs. I dislike the arguments of intellectual bullies who try to belittle the belief system of other people. Just because somebody is clever at debating it does not make them right. Trying to convert other people to a religion/philosophy is the opposite of respecting their beliefs.
- I suspect that nobody really knows the truth about ultimate reality. This includes scientists; just because scientific endeavor has been successful does not mean that it is ultimately right.
- I am agnostic about what happens to people after they die. I do not believe that anyone has ever made it past the barrier of death and then come back again to talk about it. A ‘near death experience’ is just that – it isn’t an after-death experience.
- I do not think it is important that the Buddha existed. All that matters is that his philosophy has some interesting things to say on how to make it through life. If the Buddha did exist then I do not believe he was any type of god.
- I am also agnostic about rebirth/ reincarnation. I’ve had meditation experiences that suggest it could be true, but that could all just be my vivid imagination. The idea of an individual soul moving from one life to the next does not make sense to me. The Buddhist idea of rebirth (this happens without a soul) is more likely, but I’m not convinced. I do believe in rebirth in one sense; everything that makes up a human will be recycled after they die.
- I’m convinced that the sense of self is illusionary.
- My own personal theory is that awareness (not consciousness) is a separate force in the universe. Wherever the right conditions exist then this awareness will arise. I like the idea of humans being similar to waves on the ocean; after they die they return to the ocean.
- I do believe in kamma/ karma; all actions do have consequences. If people do the right things then the right things will tend to happen. This is not to say that when bad things happen to people it is because they were bad. I see kamma as a value free force that is highly complex in nature. It is too simplistic to say that A causes B because there will be many factors involved in each effect.
- I’m convinced that it is possible for humans to become enlightened. This does not have to be anything magical; it just means seeing things a lot more clearly. People develop many internal filters that allow them to make sense of the world; enlightenment occurs when these filters are removed. I am not enlightened so the possibility of it occurring is a leap of faith on my part.
- I believe that meditation is a way to dampen down the filters that prevent people from clearly seeing reality.
- Spending more time thinking (positively) about other people leads to true happiness. This is an area of my life I need to work on.
Meditation is a Selfish Activity
One of the criticisms I hear people make about meditation is that it is a very selfish activity. I never know quite what they mean by this – selfish compared to what? Are they trying to imply that sitting around watching soaps on TV or listening to music is somehow less selfish? I would imagine that most of the things that people do could be considered selfish, so why single out meditation? It could even be argued that those individuals who do a lot of charitable work are motivated by selfish urges – even if this is only because helping others makes them feel good.
I suppose what people really mean is that it meditation encourages self-absorption. This naval gazing probably does look that way to outsiders, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. The whole point of most forms of meditation is to escape the tyranny of the self. I practice Vipassana meditation and the ultimate goal is to develop insight into how illusionary this sense of self actually is. It therefore seems illogical to call such a practice selfish.
When I point out these truths to people their argument usually goes in a slightly different direction. They then say that meditators should get up off their backsides and do something constructive with their time. It is just too self-indulgent to be sitting there doing nothing for an hour or two a day. Of course for people like me meditation is about doing something constructive – what could be more useful than taming the mind? It is certainly going to be a lot better for me than spending that time watching TV – isn’t it?
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How Amnesia Helps Me Write Books
I’ve heard that women develop a type of amnesia after they go through pregnancy. Apparently without this loss of memory the human population would not continue to grow at such a steady space. After all, very few women would be willing to repeat the pain if they really remembered what it was like. I don’t know how true this is, but it does make a lot of sense. I experience the same thing when writing books. If I clearly remembered the suffering involved in the process I would be less enthusiastic about repeating it.
Writing a Book is Really Hard
Writing a book is hard work. I suspect this is why most people never get past the ‘talking about it’ stage. Coming up with great ideas is the easy part. The real work is putting your arse in a chair. You then have to tap on a keyboard for hundreds of hours to produce something readable – or at least I do. I don’t think it is lack of talent that prevents aspiring writers from actually creating something – it is the stark reality of the task. I’ve been through the process eight times (only two attempts actually ended up being published). Each of these manuscripts required a herculean effort. I’m not claiming that it was as tough as pregnancy, but it is the nearest I’m going to get to that experience.
I am now in the middle of writing a new book. The first draft is complete and so begins the real work of turning it into something readable. I would probably die of embarrassment if somebody actually read one of my first drafts; the writing is just so ugly and disjointed. I know that over the next few months I can turn it into something a bit more beautiful. It is daunting to think of how much more work there is still to do. The thing that spurs me on is the knowledge that all the time and effort will be worth it. I know that there will be such a great sense of joy and relief when the manuscript is completed; then comes the amnesia, and the desire to repeat the process.
Now That My Son Has Completed His First Term at Thai School
It is hard to believe but my son has already completed his first term of school. It only feels like a couple of weeks since we dropped him off for his first day. I hope that all the terms don’t pass so quickly because otherwise his graduation will soon be upon us. As I shared in my post Why I Don’t Want My Son to Start School in Thailand, I felt reluctant about sending him at first. I worried that he was still young, and that the school day was too long. I’m now pleased to report back that I think we made the right decision by sending him.
Taking Control Thai Style
One of my main concerns was that they expected Timmy to attend shcool from 08:00 to 15:00. This seemed like a long a day for a child who still hadn’t hit his 4th birthday. In the end I reached a compromise; we would send him from 08:00 to 12:00. This worked well for a couple of weeks until the teacher suggested that we allow Timmy to stay for his nap; that way we wouldn’t have to wake him up. It seemed reasonably enough. A couple of weeks later and my wife wanted to leave him until two – apparently Timmy had been missing out on dancing in the afternoons. By the time the term had finished Timmy was attending school until 14:30. I stubbornly hold onto this last half hour because it gives me the illusion of control. It also means that I don’t have to fight to get a parking space with all the other parents.
I’m surprised at how well Timmy has settled into school. He did have a week where he didn’t want to go, but he can’t get enough of it now. His confidence around other children has risen dramatically, and he always talks about his new friends. The one thing that concerned me was that he stopped speaking English for a couple of weeks (read here), but he is now speaking my language again. The high point of the term was when he got up on stage to sing the Spice Girls song “Momma I Love You” – this was for Mother’s Day. I was so impressed with his performance – he was just so natural up there.
Disappointed That My Son Might Not Be a Genius
Before the end of term my wife and I had to attend a meeting with his teachers. They gave him a glowing report, but I must admit feeling a tiny bit disappointed. I suspect like most parents I secretly hope that my child is some type of prodigy. I was sort of expecting that one of the teachers would proclaim my son to be the most gifted youngster they have ever had the pleasure of instructing. It never happened. In fact he even failed at swimming. This came as a bit of a surprise to me; during my seven years teaching in Thailand I never saw a child be given a failing mark in anything- especially in a private school. This failing mark boosted my confidence in the school quite a bit.
We will have Timmy back at home all day for the next six weeks. He is already driving my wife demented with his constant demands for entertainment. It is nice having him here all day, but school certainly has its advantages.
Losing the Plot in Recovery – Podcast and Video
In this episode I discuss my recent experiences of completely losing the plot. Music as always from Doug and Judy Smith.
Here is the video or you can listen to the audio podcast below-
Addiction and Recovery Podcast Episode 50 Losing the Plot in Recovery
Press play below to listen
Why I Plan to Buy a House during the Rainy Season in Thailand
The floods are now beginning to recede, and it turns out that my wife’s prediction about the rain was accurate (read here). The water never managed to cross our door, but it was uncomfortably close at one stage. The remaining stagnant water stinks but the sun is strong today so it should be all gone within a couple of days.
Buying a House in Thailand
I do plan to buy a house in Thailand at some point in the future. Of course, it will actually be my wife and son’s house because foreigners are not allowed to own property in Thailand (with the exception of condos). It will also be bought by a mortgage in my wife’s name. Still, I’m sure Oa won’t mind if I refer to it as “my house”. I’ve no great urge to own property in Thailand (not that I will own it), but it just makes sense. I wouldn’t cost us much more to pay a mortgage then it does for our monthly rent – at least we would have something to show for it at the end of the day.
When we do get around to buying a house I want this to be in the rainy season. Not because I think that this would be a good time to move – it wouldn’t be. The aim would be to find out how the property handles the worst of Thai weather. My wife has no problem accepting this logic as her father built a house that spends three months of the year underwater. Remarkably she is not bitter about this, but she did learn a valuable lesson.
One of our neighbors found out today that a buyer for her house has just had second thoughts. This savvy investor waited for the rains to do their worst before sealing the deal. He revisited the house a couple of days ago and saw that it was half underwater – a deal breaker. I plan to follow this sensible approach for buying houses in Thailand, and I’d advise other people to do the same.
The Floods of Bangkok
This is the worst rainy season that I’ve experienced since moving to Thailand. The water is edging up the driveway. If we have another good downpour tonight the water will almost certainly be in the house by the morning. Some of our neighbours are already dealing with flooded homes. My wife’s parents have been living in the top floor of their house for the last month because downstairs has become an indoor swimming pool. This is something they need to contend with most years, but even they admit that this year is particularly bad. It looks like Venice on our streets and people are now moving about in boats instead of cars.
Despite my fears of imminent disaster my wife is unruffled. The sun has come out in Minburi and she is convinced that this marks the end of the rainy season. My wife seems to forget that we’ve had such sunny spells every day this week; they were then followed by hours of rain. Maybe she can observe something special about this particular sunny spell? Something that is not so obvious to foreigners like me. I hope she is right because moving all our belongings upstairs doesn’t is going to be a huge challenge. I also dread to think what the clean-up operation afterwards will be like. I’m being selfish here I know – considering what other people in Thailand are putting up with at the moment.
Driving in the Bangkok Floods
Getting around in this weather is a huge challenge – a lot of people are just staying at home. My son’s school is only 2km away but it took us over half an hour to make the journey by car. On some parts of the road the water level is right up to the door. When a car in the opposite lane sends a wave in my direction it moves up the bonnet and hits the window. The engine makes noises like it is about to quit, and during the trip we pass a few cars that have failed as water craft. If it rains again there is no way that I’m taking the car back out.
I remember three years ago when my old car did breakdown in the middle of a flood. I was attending a training course in Bangkok, and I’d offered to give three of my work colleagues a lift. While we were inside learning all about Thai culture it began to rain outside. By the time we returned to the car the flood water was up above our knees. I decided to drive driving anyway, but we didn’t get far before so much water got into the engine and it stalled. My three passengers had to get out and push. I remember at one stage looking in the rear-view mirror and witnessing the unbelievable sight of them pushing the car while water was almost up to their chest levels. One oncoming wave lifted the car right up so that it was floating – one of the scariest things to ever happen to me while driving. The idea of abandoning the vehicle was tempting but I couldn’t do that while my friends were still willing to push. I somehow managed to get the engine going when we reached dry land.
I’ll keep a worrying eye on the sky. The sunny spell that my wife felt so confident about has ended, but there is still not rain so maybe she is right after all. We’ll find out soon enough.
Yesterday I Thought I Had Killed Paulgarrigan.com
For three horrible hours yesterday evening I thought that I’d killed paulgarrigan.com. I faced the possibility that fifteen months of work had been flushed down the toilet – or to be more precise into the cyberspace version of this. The worst thing was that it was my own fault . I’d already given up when somebody else managed to salvage paulgarrigan.com from the mess I’d created.
My Nightmare Changing Web Host
Last Friday I began the process of moving my website across to a new web host. I’ve never done this type of thing before so it came as a relief to find that the new web host would move the website for me. I just gave them the cPanel details and they took care of the rest. It all occurred smoothly, and the website was functioning as normal. The only small annoyance was that a few readers’ comments got lost during the period when my domain name was updating on the name servers.
The real hassle began yesterday when I tried to move middleagedmuaythai over to the new host. This was trickier because even though the website has its own domain name it had been living on wordpress.com. To make matters worse the web host would not be able to do this move for me – alas only one free move per customer. One of the first things that I had to do was to setup a new WordPress installation and this is where the shit hit the fan. I installed it over the paulgarrigan.com installation and for the next three hours this website was no more.
I use the internet a lot so I can kid myself that I’m knowledgeable about the technology. As soon as anything goes wrong though, it feels like I’m dealing with a malevolent piece of alien hardware. The internet had just eaten my website, and my stress levels began to skyrocket. I contacted the web host and tried to explain the situation. They checked and agreed that my original WordPress installation was no more.
The Internet Ate My Website
I spent the next few hours in email exchanges with the web host. It would be at least thirty minutes between emails so I spent a lot of time just starring at my inbox waiting for a response. When I’m feeling really worried about something I don’t want to listen to music or watch TV. I just kept on staring at my computer and torturing myself by visiting the now empty paulgarrigan.com.
The ramifications of my loss were really starting to hit when the web host got back to me saying that he had reinstalled all my old data into the new installation. I could have hugged him. It was so wonderful to see the website up and running again. I never knew how much paulgarrigan.com means to me until I’d faced losing it. Isn’t that always the way.
P.S. I apologise if any comments have gotten lost during the move. Things will be back to normal now.















