Sitting Beside a Drunk on a Plane to Thailand
A recent post from one of the other Thailand-based bloggers was on the subject of plane journeys. It got me thinking about my own previous travels. In one way it is only in recent years that I’ve had to really deal with long journeys. This is because for many years any long trips I took were completed in the midst of an alcoholic blackout – I always hit the bars hard at airports. I have found that travelling sober and travelling drunk are two very different experiences.
It is quite amazing how fast a trip can go by when you’re pissed out of your brains. The only thing that stands out from many of my drunken journeys is waking up to go to the loo or to order more booze. I once travelled by bus from London to Tallin in Estonia and I can hardly remember anything of that thirty-six hours of my life . That trip involved passing through many countries but it’s all a blur to me. When I meet Polish people I automatically blurt out I once went through their country by bus; the truth is though that the only thing of I remember was some Russian guy giving me a swig of his bottle of vodka during a toilet break outside Warsaw.
My trips to Thailand provide some memories which would have been better lost to a blackout. One memory sticks out in particular. Getting stuck beside a drunk on a plane for twelve hours can’t be fun – it definitely wasn’t for one woman next to me anyway. She was an English girl of Indian background and I knew even before she opened her mouth that she was a nurse. The fact that I qualified in this profession myself means I can spot them easily; maybe it’s the way they hold themselves. I had started drinking bottles of cider that morning in Dublin airport and by the time I’d made through to the connection at Heathrow I could barely stand. She probably had a sunken heart when she saw who she would be sitting beside, but she was good enough not to show it.
I tried to start up a conversation with this girl who was so unfortunate as to be given the seat next to a drunk. She was a bit reticent at first until she realised that I was also a nurse. We easily fell into work related gossip. Working as a nurse has made me feel a lot more comfortable speaking with women; before that the only reason I would really talk to them was when trying to chat them up – and I was always trying to chat them up. All the time talking to her my eye was out for drinks trolley; I was gagging for more booze. By the time it arrived we were getting on like old friends. She was on her way to Thailand to do some volunteer work as a nurse at one of the Myanmar border areas. She was excited by the idea that I worked as a teacher in Thailand and asked lots of questions. I was slurring my words a bit but she was very patient.
For some reason I thought that red wine would be the ideal soother for my parched throat. I opened the bottle like a man with a bad attack of angina opening his medication. All the contents of the red wine went over my new friend. I was mortified and spent the next half hour apologizing. She was really good about it, but she was soaked in red wine and smelt really bad.
It is impossible to rationalize the actions of addict, but I was beginning to worry that my lack of alcohol would mean that I’d hit withdrawals before hitting the tarmac in Don Muang. My friend seemed to be sleeping beside me; the incident with the wine had soured our relationship quite a bit. I ordered another bottle of red wine and this time managed to get a few gulps down my throat before knocking the bottle over right on top of her again. It is hard to explain how completely pathetic I felt; there was no way that I could justify my behavior – alcoholic denial only stretches so far. She made me promise not to order any more booze – I felt humiliated. We didn’t speak for the rest of the trip and when we landed I could hear the sound of squelching liquid in her shoes as she made her way off the plane. I will never forget that particularly trip and I’m sure she won’t either.
These days sobriety means having to sit through every minute of long trips. This is a small price to pay though for escaping the humiliation of being that drunk that people dread sitting next to on a plane.
By the way, the blog post that got me thinking about all this was by Tam Yam and called ‘Another Journey from Helll’.
Hi Paul, thanks for the plug.
I was flying to Tenerife once and the only vacant seat on the plane was next to me. So when i saw a young lad pinballing his way along the aisle i knew exactly where he was going to sit. The damp patch on his shellsuit bottoms and the smell left me in no doubt that he had soiled himself. I pointed out to the cabin crew that he was so drunk that he would be a liability in an emergency situation. They obviously thought it might be difficult to remove him from the flight without a major disturbance so they asked me if i would care to disembark they would make sure i got a seat on the very next flight!
I stayed on the flight and my new friend slept all the way but it wasn’t the most pleasant four and a half hours i’ve ever had. Needless to say, Monarch Airlines is on my “never again” list.
Thanks Tom Yam. It’s sad that some of us fall into such a state. It’s unfair for other people who have to put up with us.
Paul that’s a very sad story on your part and I wonder what Thai immigration made of the alcoholic smelling UK nurse at arrivals. Maybe someone will get their own back on you one day.
I like a drink on my flights but nowadays keep to a moderate one but that wasn’t the case in the old days. I remember flying with Uzbekistan and in the transit lounge in Tashkent I got involved in a heavy vodka session with two Irish guys. Eventually, well drunk, we supported each other and dragged ourselves off for the walk to the aircraft and the three of us collapsed on the tarmac. The security guards bundled us up the steps and onto the plane. We were all completely mashed. Embarrassing.
Hi Martyn, I think a lot of people will have stories about drunken plane trips; maybe this is just part of growing up. I think though that when this is our normal behaviour it becomes a bit more disturbing. Drunks do shameful things and then feel the need to drink more to bury the shame; a vicious downward spiral.
Paul I once had the “pleasure” of sitting next to a drunk on the way out here, direct flight so no chance of a break half way.
Although I was spared the spilt drink my neighbour insisted on sharing his Thailand stories with me,(some X rated)which given that he too was Irish with a broad accent and his speech was slurred, soon had me trying to pretend to be asleep.
I have never been very tolerant of drunk people(25yrs as a cop coloured my thinking a bit)but I am not tea total and do like a drink most days.
Reading your blog has given me a lot more insight into being a drunk and perhaps made me realise I need to be more tolerant.
Hi Mike, I agree that drunks are human too, but I don’t think it helps to protect them from their actions (not that you were suggesting this). It might be the shame of a disgusted look on a fellow plane passenger’s face that motivates the will to change. I remember one night in London standing in a queue outside a take-away and this other guy pushed me to the groud because he said I stunk too much of alcohol and it was making him sick. I think he was asshole for doing this, but in another way the shame of this provided one more reason to change my behaviour – even though it took another ten years.
It would be great if more people could understand the plight of the addict, but this should never mean that an addict’s behaviour should be excused. Making allowances for addicts never helps them; it just makes them more manipulative.
Great post Paul. Although its a serious topic your 36 hour bus journey to Estonia made me laugh. I think maybe that’s part of the problem (for fledgling alcoholics) in that this kind of behaviour often gets a laugh rather than a frown.. maybe its down to a fear of being accused of taking life too seriously perhaps? I think it’s great you’ve made it though that period of your life and are now helping out others.
Hi Ben, I had a very dark sense of humour as a drinker; I still do in a lot of ways. I think it is possible to be able to laugh at things and still see that they were a bit pathetic. When I was a drunk I was constantly trying to justify my behaviour with laughter; making a joke out of it all. Inside though, I wasn’t laughing at all.
Paul, I’m new to your blog, just today, so please forgive me for asking. You described everything so well here, but I am left with one big question you did not discuss. You mention that you traveled inebriated regularly, but you did not say why. I understand you were/are an alcoholic, but why specifically did you feel (or still miss)the need to travel like this? Is it because, as an alcoholic, that you are unable to relax or feel comfortable without drinking? (You didn’t mention any fear of flying, so I didn’t think it was that.) Is it not specifically flying, but that an alcoholic feels nervous or uncomfortable any time he doesn’t have alcohol in his system? What is it, exactly?
Secondly, I found it interesting that you found it much easer to talk to women having the nursing background. This discussion makes me think that, in fact, this is a lot of men’s problem, is that they just don’t know what to SAY to women. Maybe they never had any ordinary friends who were girls while they were growing up, or just never had any subjects besides sports or something like that they felt they could carry on a natural conversation with. Furthermore, maybe the guys with this problem seldom take time to talk to girls/women as people, WITHOUT any intention of “chatting them up;” therefore, their lack of experience and general shyness gets in the way. What do you think?
Best regards,
Mary
Hi Mary. I find the flight from Dublin to Bangkok to be very long; it can take about twenty hours with the connecting flight. In the past I the time would go a lot quicker because of the fact that I’d be ineberiated. These days it is just one long boring flight; made even harder by the fact that I worry about keeping my son ( a toddler) entertained on the journey. This is not to imply that I miss alcohol at these time (because I definitely don’t), but more to do with the fact that I’ve only recenlty noticed how boring long flights can be. Mind you, some flights are a lot better than others.
I agree with you about my nursing background. The fact that I was around women all the time – especially on long night-shifts when you had to talk to stay awake – meant that I could see them more as friends. I did have female friends before nursing but I didn’t really try to understand them.