On Being a Spiritual Skeptic
I still refer to myself as spiritual person, but I would struggle to define what I mean by this. My ideas about life and spirituality have gone through such a radical overhaul in recent months that it might be more honest to say that I’m a skeptic. I do hesitate to use the word ‘skeptic’ here though, because it would lead to misunderstandings – chiefly because the modern skeptic movement is so closely related to scientism (the belief that science is the only real source of knowledge about the world), and that is definitely not what I’m about. My skepticism is a very personal thing, and it is based on the realization that I can never know anything for sure. So perhaps a good description of my beliefs would be to say that I’m a spiritual skeptic.
Spiritual Skepticism
I like the idea of spiritual skepticism because it describes my situation so neatly. Not only am I skeptical about any claims of knowledge of truth with a capital T, but I’m fine with the idea that we are all ultimately ignorant. In fact I’m more than fine with it because the mystery of life has become my God, and I feel no embarrassment in admitting that I worship it and adore this mystery. I spent years fearing the unknowable, but I’ve found that by facing this fear it has led me to feelings of deep inner peace and contentment. I’m no longer at war with life, and I don’t need the universe to grant me any special favors – so what’s to fear?
I still occasionally enjoy spiritual teachings but now more as a form of entertainment than anything else. I suspect that much of the stuff out there is just fluff, but I’m sure it serves a purpose. I no longer believe that it is necessary for me to follow any teacher or engage in any particular practice. I’m not claiming that this is a bad thing to do – devoting their life to a specific spiritual practice may be great for other people, but I’m going in a different direction. The only tool I need is the willingness to face reality – oh yeah, and the common sense to roll with the punches. I no longer feel like there is a hole in my soul, and I no longer desire anything other than reality. I want nothing to do with any path that involves denying life.
I like hearing how other people make sense of the world, and I would hesitate to call anyone deluded or wrong, but I’m no longer in the market for spiritual paths. Maybe I just haven’t met the right guru, but I’ve stopped looking and have no intention of resuming this search. I realize that in order for me to be able to judge the value of a person’s teachings, I would need to be as enlightened as them, and if I am as enlightened as them I wouldn’t need them to begin with. There is no spiritual master out there who has more to offer me than the teachings available in day to day living.
Let’s Act Spiritual
I’ve given up trying to be spiritual. I no longer want to act like a holy person in the hope that it will turn me into this special human – that all just seems like self absorbed nonsense to me now. Acting spiritual in the hope of reaching some type of enlightened state is like spending money in the hope that it will make me win the lottery. Putting on this type of act just wastes too much energy, and it is impossible to keep up long-term. It is far better for me to just be natural and open to life because this will take me where I need to go.
My spiritual skepticism has nothing to do with what other people believe. I’m just one guy who is trying to find his own way in the world, and I’m getting very good at it. My path may be lacking incense and mantras, but it is definitely working. I have an urge to share the highlights of my journey, but I’ve no urge to convince other people that I’m on the right path.
Thanks for the insightful post Paul,
You can call me a sceptical spirit, but grand me I have a lot to learn.
Frankly, I got more interested in your recent posts rather than those of the last year, since I felt you often seemed to wander off into, I’m not sure if I can pinpoint it right, mild forms of fanatism, based on principles which were not really yours or, more acurately, at least not mine.
Keep up your wonderful posts which I find very inspirational.
Hi I-nomad, I’m starting to understand that the signs of progress on my path is the ability to look back on my previous beliefs and feel at least slightly embarrassed by them. I’ve come to the conclusion that all beliefs are basically bullshit, they are just filters I use to understand the world, and my journey now is all about letting go of beliefs and not taking on new ones. I hope that next year I can look back on the posts I’ve written now and feel a bit embarassed by them too – it will mean that I’ve made further progress.
Just saw this post under related posts from another one. I’m with you on the reality thing. Funny thing is I was raised Catholic, tried everything and nothing else and eventually in a time of great need it found me again and I love my simple version of it. It’s not a changed version, there is just so much to draw from in Catholicism that it is too much for me to think about so I keep to the basics and that is what helps me. Most of the time I forget to practice any kind of spirituality but the really hard times remind me and in that way it seems like hard times were created for the purpose of allowing me to need and receive God’s help so I know that He is real. Anyway, that’s my perception. My faith helps me get through the worst things. Also, just the idea that we are all flawed but good in unique ways is helping me to overcome problems in difficult relationships. I think we all do the best we can.
Hi Liz, my skepticism began with Catholicism. I rebelled against this religion in my early teens, and I carried this anger for a long time. I can now see that there is plenty of good stuff in that religion – it just doesn’t suit my own preferences.