How to Talk Yourself Out of Being a Loser

I suspect most of us are usually oblivious to the enormous impact the words we use have on our life. I’m not talking about how we piss other people off by saying hurtful things – I mean the way we can talk ourselves into being losers.

It has recently come to my attention that I’m a bit of a whiner. I automatically complain about everything. If I won millions of dollars on the lottery tomorrow, I’d moan about having to go and collect the winnings.

I’m always complaining about my work to me wife – either because I’ve too much or too little of it. I bore her with my fears for our financial future but then complain when a client sends a bit of extra work my way.

How to Talk Yourself into Depression

I’ve been dealing with periods of depression since my early twenties. I’ve never needed to take any medication to control it, but this blackness has definitely held me back in life.

I now know that the source of my melancholy is unhelpful thought patterns. I’m always on the lookout for potential dangers, and I’m always able to find them. If I’m not worried about my finances, I’m worried about getting cancer.

The fact that I’m so focused on threats in the environment becomes obvious in the things I say – it explains all the whining and moaning. I don’t mean to be a pain in the ass – it is just the way the world appears to me sometimes.

I’m sure if I dropped dead tomorrow, the only words my six-year-old son will remember me for saying are going to be ‘don’t do that, it’s too dangerous’ – I must say these words to him at least ten times a day, and it will be a miracle if he doesn’t develop a major complex.

Changing the Things I Say

If I spend less time complaining about things, it is going to break my negative thinking habits. I’m sure this is correct because in order to stop saying negative things I have to keep challenging my thoughts.

Not only have I decided to stop complaining, but I’m also training myself to say positive things. I’m not going to lie when doing this – what would be the point – I have to think of truly positive things to say. This means I’m training my mind to see the positive in life.

They say that it takes about 28 days to form new habits. For the last three weeks, I’ve been forcing myself to see all the good around me – there is far more than I ever imagined. I’ve also significantly reduced the amount of complaining I do. Once these new habits take root, I’m convinced it will eliminate most of my episodes of depression.