Closer to the Truth in Life

Finding My Truth

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that my pet project at the moment is creating my guidebook for living. Most of my recent blog entries have come about as a result of this work, and this post is another attempt to unravel my thinking. I’m creating my own personal bible, or manifesto for living, and it will contain my best ideas about what life is all about, and how I can get the most from the experience. I want to remove all of the junk and self limiting beliefs that I’ve accumulated over the years and make a fresh start. This book is not just something that I plan to put together and forget about. I intend to use it to guide me going forward for the rest of my life; although I’ll be surprised if at least some of the content doesn’t change over time. This guidebook for living is all about the things that I find true and value, and it is not about telling other people what they should believe and value. I feel that this is work that we all have to do for ourselves.

The biggest obstacle I face while trying to find my truth is my own limitations. I’m agnostic in the sense that I don’t believe that we can know anything for sure. If this is true then how can I possibly find truth?

Not Knowing

I don’t know if it is possible for humans to fully understand this mysterious condition that we call life – how can we if we can’t even be sure if any of this is real. This doesn’t mean that I’m anti-intellectual, anti-religion, or anti-science. It just means I don’t take beliefs about our universe too seriously – or at least I try not to. I view beliefs as being similar to stories; something we use to help us make sense of it all and to keep us entertained. These beliefs are attempts to pin down something that is beyond human comprehension. I’m not saying that beliefs are necessarily bad, but they certainly can be when they limit us or put us in conflict with other people. I also appreciate that beliefs can benefit us. They make us feel more secure and in control of things. In fact, I can’t imagine how we would be able to function in the world without them. I think we (or at least I) make a mistake by becoming so engrossed in these stories that they are seen as some undeniable truth that must be defended at all costs. Surely if these beliefs were certain and undeniably true there would be no need to waste time trying to persuade non-believers?

Truth without strong Beliefs

My conviction that life is unknowable may sound unreasonable or at least impractical. If I claim ignorance about everything, how can I survive day to day living? Surely this level of uncertainty about the universe is a definite sign of mental illness and perhaps I should be locked away for my own good. If I don’t have a set of beliefs, how can I tell right from wrong? What’s to stop me from just doing as I please no matter how much it hurts other people? My complete agnosticism about the universe must surely mean that I’m a loose cannon.

I’ve found that by letting go of strong beliefs it has caused me to experience far greater inner contentment. I care more about other people, and I’ve no agenda where I’m trying to convince them that my beliefs are the correct ones. By admitting that I don’t really know anything, it has opened my mind and allowed me to let go of self limiting nonsense. I can see that underneath all the beliefs there is a truth, and I don’t need to fully understand what this is in order to get closer to it. I feel sure that our more beneficial beliefs (things like love and charity) are reflections of this underlying truth. In fact it seems reasonable for me to assume that the closer our beliefs are to what actually exists the more beneficial they will be for us. Our beliefs can bring us closer to the truth, but I’m just not convinced that they can take us all the way there. Of course, the fact that I don’t know means that I can’t go around dismissing other people’s beliefs with any level of certainty. I can only really know that “I don’t know”.

My barometer of truth is the impact that a belief has on my life. I’m not talking here about just doing whatever I like so long as it makes me happy. I don’t subscribe to the views of people like Alistair Crowley who advocated, “do what thou wilt is the whole of the law. It is not right for me to hurt other people with the excuse that I’m trying to be happy. I’ve tried living a life dictated to hedonism, and that almost killed me. I now see that the ups and downs are equally important and that always striving to be happy is life denying and a path to misery. I like to use the word “contentment” as something different from happiness – it is a sense of peace no matter what is happening in the world. It is this inner feeling of serenity that tells me that I’m moving closer to the truth. Another very positive sign is that I’m spending more time thinking about other people. I also feel that there are some truths in life that are almost undeniable. I doubt that it took the arrival of religion for humans to understand that murder is wrong. I think the same can be said of many ethical principles. It seems to be the simple beliefs that are best for leading me to inner contentment – those that are too complex can be more trouble than their worth.

I’ve found that the universe is more than capable of leading me towards the truth. I choose to call the universe my teacher or sometimes even my God. We can speculate that there is some intelligent entity that cares about my welfare who is providing these teachings, but that just falls under the list of things that I don’t know. I do know that by letting go of many of my older beliefs and just trying to “love what is” my life is improving. I also know that every time I deny what is I suffer. These teachings seem to come pre-packaged in life. I don’t need to understand them in order to benefit from them.

Beliefs and Possibilities

I’m not against the beliefs of other people except where they are obviously causing harm to the rest of us. I like to hear how other humans make sense of this mystery, and I always have to at least consider the possibility that they could be right – the problem is that I can’t accept it as right just because they seem convinced. I’m open to all possibilities. I appreciate the mystery of what is here before me and look upon it as my God. I believe that there is an ultimate purpose, and that we are all part of this purpose, but I don’t pretend to know what it is. My caution around beliefs is not about rejecting anything but about being open to all the possibilities.