Beliefs are my Prison
My beliefs act like filters on my world. They not only limit what I see, but they also distort all incoming data to fit in with my biases and prejudices. The scary thing is that I’ve no idea where some of my beliefs come from, and an uncomfortable number of them are just plain nasty. I don’t even realize that many of these beliefs exist until they are triggered by some external event – I can hear a news story and suddenly my thinking is filled with all these judgements and condemnations. These hidden beliefs (I call them stories) are all too often completely irrational, and they hide in the shadows of my mind because they could not survive out in the open. If I’m not careful, these stories can influence my thinking and behavior in very negative ways.
Living Inside My Head
People who know me will sometimes complain that I spend too much time ‘caught up inside my own head’. The reality is though, that this is true of all of us because our world can only ever exist inside of our head. Our senses picks up data from what we believe is an external reality, but the whole show takes place internally – it is our mind trying to make sense of something that is completely beyond our comprehension. If we are to believe the scientists, that thing that we call ‘out there’ is nothing like how we experience it. There is no solid stuff and everything is in a constant state of flux – the blue sky and green grass only ever exist inside of us.
Even if I assume that there is some type of objective external world, that influences the show going on in my head, I still can’t claim that my mind’s interpretation is an accurate representation of what exists. There is just too much information for me to be aware of everything in my environment, and so the data needs to be filtered. My beliefs can play a huge role in this filtering process, and it really can mean that ‘I see what I want to see’, and that other people see what they want to see too. This is a worry because my filters will always favor incoming information that confirms my prejudices and biases. The filters can also work to completely ignore information that is a threat to my beliefs. It is this process that means that my beliefs are my prison. This is not something that is happening consciously, and that is what makes it really frightening. I could start to believe any old shit and my mind would helpfully try to provide all the evidence I need to protect and nurture this new belief.
How are Things in Your Prison?
I can easily lose patience with people who believe in things that do not fit in with my worldview. I want them to wake up to reality. I want these silly people to feel remorse for believing in stupid things. I forget that these guys are just like me – their beliefs are also holding them prisoner too. It is unlikely that they will wake up to reality because their beliefs are their reality. They are just as convinced about the shit inside their head as I am by the shit inside my head. Even if the data becomes so overwhelming that we have to change our beliefs, we will still be able to justify it all so that we don’t feel remorse about our crazy ideas. This is why I can always feel bad about falling into heated debates with people online. I can act as if these guys are being willfully ignorant, but they are going to feel the exact same about me. It is a no win situation, and this is why these debates are usually pointless. We all believe that we are in the right, and we are all probably wrong.
Less of a Prisoner of Beliefs
I’m convinced that the key to mental well-being is to not allow my beliefs to dictate my life. I need to be a consumer of beliefs rather than a slave to them. It seems impossible to function in the world without beliefs, but I want to treat them more like tools than mental handcuffs. I need to keep on reminding myself that these beliefs are just stories – they are not truth and they are not me.
Whilst I agree that it doesn’t seem possible to function in the world without beliefs, isn’t it the fixation of beliefs that causes the problem? We tend to cling to and fix our beliefs to feel certain and secure but don’t seem to realise that doing so causes isolation, conflict and insecurity. Actually to have any fixed belief is absurd because we can never know all the factors involved in anything. Even if it were possible to have all the facts about something we don’t have the mental capacity to determine all the possible interpretations of those facts. The odds are against us of being right about almost anything!
We have no choice but to act on the limited knowledge we possess and making a fixed belief out of our interpretation of that knowledge can certainly generate resolve and energy, but probably in the wrong direction. This is our difficulty; is it possible to have the enthusiasm and energy needed to tackle whatever life throws at us without creating fixed beliefs.
Hi Martin, I agree completely that fixation on any set of beliefs is a real problem. I think it is best to treat all beliefs as being similar to addictive substances. The problem is that the majority of our beliefs remain hidden, and we take them so for granted that we don’t even consider them to be beliefs. Take for example the belief that there is an objective reality out there – we all act as if this is a given but maybe we are being fooled? There are also some fixed beliefs that I don’t want to question – for example, my belief that murder is wrong. I think we agree that we need to treat beliefs like dynamite, but it might not be possible to be free of fixed beliefs completely.
Hi Paul. “Prison” can be a strong word, but it probably does apply to some people (sadly). Recently, I’ve started believing that my thinking patterns are analogous to the pull of gravity. When my negative thoughts get out of control, they can exert a lot of influence on my daily thinking and behavior, and really pull me down and just ground me. In periods of prolonged depression, they can dominate everything else.
I need to work on cultivating and growing my more positive beliefs until they drive my daily thinking and well-being. It’s always a struggle to keep growing and nurturing those positive beliefs until they overshadow the bad ones. Although the negative thoughts may still remain, keeping them at bay is the key…
As for internet “debating”, lol…yeah we’ve all been there. That’s one form of ego-tripping that can really bring out the worst in me.
I hope the moving process is going well!
Only three days to go before we move, so it is all hands on deck!
I really like what you say about thinking patterns being analogous to the pull of gravity – that makes a lot of sense.
I’ve sort of reconciled myself to the notion that some of my thinking patterns are (for better or worse) going to be with me for a while. I can’t just switch them off, as much as I’d love to. But even though the pull of gravity will always be there, we can work to gradually change and expand our worlds, and that is what I am striving to do. But yeah, this game is a marathon and not a sprint.
I’m sure you’ll be busy for the next few weeks. I hope its a manageable and hopefully not too stressful experience for you. Sounds like better horizons in your future (literally). Good luck Paul!
Thanks Tan- it is all hands on deck now for the move 🙂
The way I now deal with negative thinking patterns is to just work around them.
I know that they are just stories concocted by my brain, and I treat them like a common cold.
I don’t resist the negativity. I treat as something that I’m experiencing rather than something that I am.