The Day the Buddha Tried to Kill My Car
There has been a lot of talk in the Thai ex-pat blogosphere about the importance of respecting Thai culture. This is something that I fully agree with, but there have been a few occasions where this has gotten me into trouble. One incident in particular stands out in my mind; the day the Buddha tried to kill my car. This all happened about a little over a year ago, and I’ve written about it elsewhere. Still, I thought it might be nice to revisit this collision with Thai culture.
yon Disclaimer
First off, let me clear things up a bit. I am not trying to blame the Buddha himself for nearly killing my car. After all, many of us believe that he entered nirvana over two and a half thousand years ago so it would be unfair to blame him directly for any damage done. No, it was actually one of his followers who did the dirty deed. This probably all sounds a bit farfetched. What could Buddhism have to do with the state of my car? Well please stay with me, and I’ll explain.
http://iccpaix.org/406.shtml Buddhism in Thailand
Thailand is predominately a Buddhist country, and you can see the influence of this everywhere. I think that this philosophy has been a great boon to the country, and it has benefited people’s lives. I considered myself a bit of a Buddhist long before arriving in Thailand, but I’m more of a philosophical Buddhist. Thai Buddhism can sometimes seem a bit strange to me; likewise many of my ideas about Buddhism can seem strange to a Thai.
I think that all religions are the same; when they move to a new country they take on a local feel. Before the arrival of Buddhism, Thailand’s religion was Animism. This involved worshiping and fearing ghosts and ghouls. When Buddhism arrived it needed to soak up some of these beliefs in order to become accepted; the two beliefs became mixed up. The same thing happened with Christianity in my home country Ireland; there you can easily spot how the old religion still influences the new one.
The Buddhist monks in Thailand rely on the support of the local population. It is the monk’s job to provide teaching about the Buddha’s path and in return the laity provides food and shelter. As well as Buddhist teachings, the monks are often asked to provide blessings and sometimes even lucky amulets. This is where my own beliefs sort of depart from the Thai Buddhist. I am not saying that it is wrong or anything; just that I don’t understand how it could all possibly work.
Many Thai Buddhist monks also believe that it is not really part of the Buddha’s path and have gone so far as to make their doubts known. One of my favorite teachers is Ajahn Chah. Unfortunately he died a few years back, but there are some great tales about him. One of these stories tells about how one of his rich supporters once begged him for a lucky amulet. This follower of the temple had just been drafted into the army and wanted a lucky amulet which would protect him from bullets. Ajahn Chah patiently explained how there was no such amulet and that this superstition was not really within the teachings of the Buddha. The supporter wouldn’t listen and eventually Ajahn Chah relented. He pointed to a huge Buddha statue behind him and told the supporter that if he carried it around his neck that it might save him from bullets.
The Buddha and My Car
So what does this all have to do with my car? Well, I bought a new car last year and that was when the trouble started. My wife is a religious Buddhist and insisted that we get the car blessed by a monk before she or my son would travel inside it. It seemed like a reasonable and harmless request. We took the car to the local temple where the monk blessed it and tied some lucky string around the steering wheel. He impressed me by admitting that the blessing would not protect us against bad driving and that we should still wear a safety belt.
My Not So Lucky Buddhist String
This would have all gone unmentioned except for the fact that while turning my car a few days later the lucky piece of string somehow got tangled in the steering wheel mechanism and almost destroyed it. I had to drive five kilometers with my horn blaring and the steering wheel threatening to quit altogether. I was very embarrassed and everyone I passed must have thought I’d lost my mind. Why is this crazy foreigner blowing his horn? Eventually the worry that the steering wheel would stop working altogether made me abandon the car. I was forced to get my dealer to come and pick it up. They managed to fix it, but the fact that it was our own fault meant that our free one year breakdown cover wouldn’t pay for it. They also had no interest in my attempts to blame the Buddha.
At the end of the day, there is no way that I can really blame the Buddha for what happened to my car. I can’t even blame the monk. In future though, I will probably look for a monk who knows a bit more about the inner workings of the car steering mechanism.
Paul although I know little about Buddhism and the Buddha I do know that many monks seem to have strayed from the straight and narrow.
The true Buddhist monk like his Western counterpart in the clergy is surely meant to be a spiritual and moral leader which leaves the fortune tellers and the lottery predictors wearing saffron in Thailand firmly playing the charlatan role for me.
BTW the tale about the car fits nicely in with my theme today….perhaps you can add another tale if you drop by to comment?
Hi Mike, I think a problem in Thailand is that there is a lot of pressure on men to ordain for at least a short while. It is incredibly easy to become a monk in Thailand; you can even ordain for the day. When you have a lot of people doing something that that they are not really interested in you will end up with the ‘bad monks’. Putting on the robes is just part of the culture and most will do it as a way to make merit for their mothers. I know one Thai monk whose family tricked him into ordaining so that they could get him off drugs; he didn’t realise that he was entering a Buddhist detox until he arrived. I try to respect the Buddhist robes, but that doesn’t mean that I have to respect the person wearing them – at least that is how a Thai once explained it to me.
Paul, while I don’t think he’s had a car destroying Buddha in his life, Pra Peter (google ‘Farang Monk’) has similar stories to tell about Buddhism in Thailand. Have you met him yet?
Hi Cat, I never met him but his books were one of the first that I read when I came to Thailand. I know that he has since disrobed but hopefully he’ll get back on the typewriter soon.
“I had to drive five kilometres with my horn blaring and the steering wheel threatening to quit altogether. I was very embarassed and everyone I passed must have thought I’d lost my mind. Why is this crazy foreigner blowing his horn?”
Ha ha, brilliant image this!
Hi Jon, at the time I was mortified. I don’t like drawing attention to myself so driving around with blaring horn is like something out of a nightmare. Maybe it could be a new treatment for shyness 🙂
Paul I enjoyed reading your facts and thoughts on Buddhism, and I really did like the end of your tale. I wonder if Thai insurance covers an act of Buddha. No doubt it doesn’t.
I’m not a religious person myself but Buddhism is definitely the nearest one to my way of thinking about life. When I am in Thailand I respect Thais beliefs about Buddhism but I do so from a distance.
We’ve held a few religious do’s (excuse the word) at our village house before and they’ve all been early morning affairs. The one thing which always disappointed me about those Buddhist blessings were the fact that all the Thai men just seemed intent on getting blitzed on lao khao and beer by nine in the morning. It didn’t seem a very religious thing to do in my eyes. I had to continually politely refuse drink after drink. For me that’s the big let down about how Thais (males anyhow) seem to misuse their religion.
I like the look of your Visitor Maps Plugin, I think I’ll go check it out.
Hi Martyn, I must admit that I was a bit shocked when I first came to Thailand to see how different Thai Buddhism was to my expectations. It is just the way it is here. There are two paths for Buddhists, the path to enlightenment and the path to reducing suffering (and many would believe rebirth in better life next time). Some people refer to the second path as Buddhist Lite; it is a much more relaxed path to follow and more about making merit and not breaking too many precepts. The Buddha realised that most people just weren’t going to want to put a lot of work into developing themselves to reach enlightenment so the second path is a type of damage control. Some Thais believe that if they don’t mess up too bad in this life they might come back as a more spiritual person next time. When they do break precepts (like getting drunk) it is not viewed as a bit deal because precepts are not considered the same as sins. You pay a karmic price, but I suppose many would view the hangover as being the price you pay. This is my view of what is going on in Thai Buddhism, but I’m no expert.
I actually got the idea of the visitor’s map from Jon (Johnny Foreigner). I saw it on his website and thought I’ll have that 🙂
Paul, classic story and wonderfully told. I can just imagine the thoughts of the Thai’s you passed with horn blaring thinking “pee baa falang”
Like Martyn I feel closer to Buddhism than any other religion…not that I know all that much about it, I am still learning, but I like the way it makes me feel when visiting the Wats and speaking with or getting blessings from the monks…even if their cell phone goes off during the blessing.
Thanks Talen, I’m sure that there were many Thais talking about me that day. More evidence that the westerner is hot headed and can’t control his temper.
Hi Paul,
A few months ago my father-in-law insisted on fastening some ribbons around the steering column of my new Honda motorcycle. I removed them immediately and i wasn’t even prepared to get into a debate about it. However, i did put up with getting covered in white powder from the “good luck daubings” he administered until they wore off.
Tom Yam……
Hi Tom Yam, we have had two motorbikes over the years and both have had the lucky string. It would have been interesting if one had the lucky string and one didn’t – that way I could have performed longevity and performance 🙂
I spoke to my wife about the lucky ribbons,string, flower garlands, white daubings etc. I put forward to her my notion that given the amount of fatal road traffic accidents in Thailand that none of this adornment seems to be very lucky. In fact, it would appear that this method of staying safe doesn’t seem to work at all. She pointed out that i was a stupid farang! Apparently, all these trinkets etc don’t actually ward off misfortune but if a mishap does befall us then we are surrounded with Buddhist bits and bobs and more prepared to meet our fate. “bits and bobs” obviously wasn’t her exact words but i got the picture. The fact that all these Buddhist add-ons could actually be the cause of an accident was somewhat lost on her.
Hi Tom Yam, I suppose there are plenty of Christian folk who will also have all types of holy items in their vehicles; I know that this happens a lot in Ireland anyway. I think that I was unlucky with the blessed car string but I’ve never had a problem with the string on the motorbikes. I don’t even notice it’s there anymore; it keeps the wife happy anyway 🙂
Hi Paul,
An interesting topic and for us ‘simple’ Westerners a never ending story of amazingness (how do you like that word for English language consideration, my spell checker isn’t impressed at all!).
The animism has never left the Thai building in my humble opinion. If I observe how popular psychics, fortune tellers and the like are, it’s rather mind numbing. Two cars so far and a bike have been blessed by the Monks, with good result, we also have a few Buddhist bits and bobs inside the front window, with very good results up till today, I must say.
I really liked that the monk who did the blessing pointed out that bad driving didn’t protect you, he must be the only monk in all of Thailand who tells blatant lies like this since all Thais seem to think different about this.
Among top rank of monk and belief stories is this one; Thai people have a house blessing for a new house, on a day predicted by the monks. They won’t live in the house until the blessing day is over. I’ve heard stories where the proud owners of the completed and finished house had to wait six months before they could move in.
Hahaha, you really got me going now. Nice post though!
Hi Camille, the auspicious days are important to a lot of Thais alright. I think it comes as a shock to a lot of westerners when they come here. I think a lot of Thai people might consider not starting work on building your house on an auspicious day as being akin to saying you are not going to bother with foundations.
Paul, Pra Peter has another book coming out soon, so your wish will be granted 🙂
tom yam – lucky ribbons,string, flower garlands, white daubings etc. I put forward to her my notion that given the amount of fatal road traffic accidents in Thailand that none of this adornment seems to be very lucky.
My regular taxi driver in BKK has nothing dangling from his mirror. One day I bought garlands from a hawker as his was without, and he kindly explained the reasoning – that he’d been trained in defensive driving so understood the danger.
It’s just a matter of time before Thailand gets educated. Some points will be an improvement (danger being a biggie), while the rest will make Thailand vanilla. Sad.
Hi Cat, I wouldn’t worry too much about the people of Thailand allowing their traditions to fall away. Even if they did there are plenty of foreigners willing to carry on these traditions. I personally never leave my home without my fifty lucky amulets spread about my person 🙂
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