During my years as a drunk there was a struggle to find a meaning to life; this search intensified as alcohol turned from a friend into a captor. I looked everywhere convinced that that some magical answer could sort me out; a few words found in a book or song that would make things better. It wasn’t until years later that I found that the meaning of life was about doing and not about words.
A Monk Points to the Meaning of Life after Addiction
It was a Buddhist monk called Hans who eventually pointed me towards my path in life. He explained that the reason for my alcohol abuse was that I had no direction; he saw that my life had no meaning for me. He amazed me by claiming that it was hardly surprising that I had fallen into the trap of abusing alcohol. When life has no real meaning then of course I’ll take my comforts where I can. There did not seem to be any other alternative and this is why I stuck with it long after it stopped working. Even though it was killing me I stayed with it because a life without meaning is so unrewarding. Phra Hans promised me that if I got sober I’d find my path and life would have meaning for me – he was right.
I got sober and my life was better, but for a while I continued to search for a path. I expected it to appear in my life with a huge bang; a ‘dah-dah’ moment that would be unmistakable. I fantacised that this spiritual journey was going to take me to all types of amazing realisations. I sort of expected life to become full of magical events; all very grandiose and self-important. I didn’t know that the path was to be found in the simple; it took me a while to realise that I was already on the path.
My life now has meaning and purpose but this doesn’t mean that it is perfect. It is so much better than how it once was but it is a process and the process is far from finished. I sometimes worry that things aren’t happening fast enough. I have to remind myself that being on the right path is enough; there is no need to rush. Life is always about the journey and never the destination.