Memories of a Special Buddhist Monk – Phra Hans
Monk Hans was a special person who had a huge impact on my life. He died just over a year ago. He spent a good portion of his life helping addicts and other lost souls. Here is something that I wrote about him last year just after hearing of his death.
When the Student is Ready the Teacher Appears
Sometimes the world can seem like it is full of magic. At these times it is easy to marvel at the way my life seems almost blessed; how the right person comes onto my path when I most need them. A more spiritual person might view these helpers as guardian angels, but I’m far too cynical to believe in such things – angels indeed. I tend to just put it all down to a quirk of life; a law in the universe that we don’t yet understand. This law means that when we are ready the teacher appears. It was due to this oddity in nature that I met Phra Hans.
I had made a complete mess of everything; I truly had. I was in such a desperate state when this kindly monk came into my life. I had been battling with alcohol addiction for twenty years and was losing badly to it. My life had become unbearable and the part of my mind that had given up hope of recovery; I just wanted it all to end quickly. I had only the tinniest flicker of hope left inside, and it was this that brought me to the gates of a temple in Thailand called Thamkrabok. It was here that I met the Swiss monk called Hans.
Addiction is a Tool For People Who Have Lost Their Way in Life
My first day speaking to Phra Hans wasn’t under the best of circumstances. I was sitting in a hard plastic chair and my body was shaking because of alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I must have looked a right mess. I hadn’t consumed any alcohol that day; I had wanted to but my body just vomited everything straight back up. Despite not drinking I still stunk of booze; a horrible stale stench of alcohol that was seeping through my pores. I felt like a worthless piece of shit just sitting there.
Phra Hans looked so healthy and serene that it briefly made me feel even more ashamed. But he didn’t show any signs of repulsion at my state. He just sat there and patiently listened to my story. He didn’t interrupt once. This came as a pleasant surprise; so many people wanted to give me the answers before hearing my question. He put me at ease. The Swiss monk didn’t seem one bit surprised by anything that I said and didn’t show any signs of judging. I could feel my tiny flicker of hope being fed fuel.
After I finished speaking he was silent for a few seconds before sharing his thoughts with me. He explained how it was his view that addiction was a tool that many of us use to cope with life. This tool though, is not as shiny and good as it first appears. It comes with a sting. The addiction eventually causes us more pain than any of the problems we were running away from; then it stops working altogether. Our substance abuse must be abandoned because it is now useless to us. There is good news though, if we stop our addiction we will once again find our path in life; this is a reward for beating addiction. It was losing this path in the first place that allowed us to fall into addiction.
That day in the office with Phra Hans I heard answers that had eluded me for decades. Although my withdrawals from addiction were making it difficult to concentrate, I could easily see that what he said was correct. Over the next couple of weeks at the temple my mind cleared and further chats with Phra Hans cleared things up even more. What he said came from his heart, and I don’t think that I heard one platitude from his mouth. More than the talking though was his ability to silently listen and allow me to come up with my own answers.
Goodbye Phra Hans and Thanks
I would see Phra Hans occasionally after this; I would drop by the temple and have a quick chat with him. Every time I would be rushing and not taking the time to really talk. I returned to the Wat Thamkrabok last year with my family to celebrate three years sober. I missed Phra Hans that time altogether. I was told that he was sick, but my obsession with my busy life meant that I didn’t go to see him. Of course, I promised myself that next time I would spend a bit of time with him. I wasn’t to know that there wasn’t going to be a next time.
Phra Hans died a couple of days later. I felt sad, and it is tempting to try and turn him into a saint; even an arahant. I didn’t really know him enough for this. All I know is that he had a bigger impact on my life than people who I’ve known for years. I do regret that other addicts are not going to benefit from his wisdom and caring heart. He struck me as a humble man. I feel sure that whatever good karma he planted in this life will reward him. This is the Buddhist way; you don’t thank people too much because you know that their good work will bring them great benefit. Phra Hans made a real difference in the world; that is easy to see. He was a friend to the addicted and hopeless and these are people who can really benefit from such wise friendship. His good actions are still rippling through the world. He may no longer exist but it will be a long time before his actions die.
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How wonderful, Paul.He was in your life at a perfect time, when you opened up to him and his loving words of wisdom. Death is never the end of a relationship.
Thank you Zentient, you are right. I think the same holds true for everyone. If we do good things it will keep us alive to other people long after we are dead.
Phra Hans sounds a lovely man and one I would like to know (or similar). There are so few humble, wise people in the world. I guess because honest humble is a state not easily attained.
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I think you are right about these people being rare Catherine. I sometimes wonder if it is possible to develop these qualities or do you have to be born this way. I have met a few individuals who were just naturally good honest people – they tend to have a special look of compassion in their eyes which is hard to describe. I don’t think that it is something that people could fake. I guess though that even these more developed humans have their bad days too – or maybe that is just me trying to make myself feel better
A lovely piece and it does also bring back fond memories of when i met the man, I should really do a retro piece on him, as all those wise words did come back flooding after reading your gentle and humble piece on him, or were u writing about yourself lol
Regards, You know WHo!
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dear Paul
i have only just learnt of the death of Phra Hans through this site. I was looking for a colour picture of him as i wanted to quote him in a talk. I wanted people who had never met him to know who had spoken such wise words. I met him 8 years ago and think of him often. I am very sad to hear this news, but also glad to have met him. Thank you for keeping us informed
JC
Hi James, he was a very wise man who helped a lot of people. He certainly changed my life. I think the fact he is still remembered says so much about him.