Addictive Behaviour in Recovery

Posted in Fighting back from Addiction - 9 June 2010 - No comment

Escaping one addiction doesn’t necessarily mean escaping all addictive behaviours; at least that has been my experience anyway. My life today is in a different league then it once was, but sometimes I still get reminders of how things once were. I can act towards things like coffee and junk food in much the same way as I once did towards the booze; promising to change, followed by breaking this promise, followed by remorse.

Eating junk food and drinking too much coffee is not going to cause as much damage as my alcohol problems once caused for me and those around me. It probably isn’t doing my health any favours, but after the way I treated my body for years it could be worse. The thing is though that when I drink too much coffee and eat junk it doesn’t give me any real pleasure. I feel bad about it. The same as it was at the end of my drinking; I would drink despite the fact that I knew that there was going to be no relief.

I believe that escaping an addiction involves learning many lessons; if you don’t learn these lessons you just can’t escape. In this way addiction can be beneficial, but only if you manage to escape it – most people don’t. Despite the fact that addictive behaviours continue to arise in my recovery I know how to deal with them. I don’t have to be a slave to anything that is not bringing my life benefit. I already know that I can change; all I need is the motivation to make the change. This is so different from my years in addiction when I really didn’t believe I could change anything.

Getting sober is not about becoming perfect right away, but for me it is about moving along the path. It can sometimes seem like things are slow, but speed is not so important when you know you are going in the right direction. I won’t beat myself up too much about my recent overindulgence in coffee and junk food; I know that I’ll get back into a healthier routine soon. My new punch bag and bicycle are all part of my new drive for feeling good mentally and physically. I have also made myself a nice vegetable stew for dinner.