Addiction and Recovery Episode 39 – Why Do They Do Not Like Me? (podcast)
In this episode I talk about the reasons why not everyone will like us and how this need not be too much of a problem for us.
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Life is Mystery When Recovering from Drunkenness
Is Sober in Ireland harder than sober in Thailand?
Why Does the Foreign Teacher Always Smell Like Peppermint – How Dare They Not Like Me – Part 5
Ajahn Passano Offers Advice to Those of Us Who Frequently Fall Out of Trees
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Dear Paul,
this was an inspirational post.
I only get 4 gig a month of download at 512 kbps so I don’t get to listen to all of your video blogs or pod casts but I had to listen to this one having personal significance to how I am feeling at this time in my life.
I am more than a year sober now.
In my recovery I have discovered an underpinning issue for me of anxiety. My anxiety has led me to worry so much as to what other people think of me. The lengths I go to and the amount of stress that it brings my life is incredible.
I liked that you used words such as absurd, childish, obligation, wrong. For me it drove home the point of much of what I am feeling. I can see the logic, I’m still caught in the way it seeps into my core.
I am thinking of taking anti depressants. My GP wants me to take them and a psychologist I just met at a clinic wants me too. I am doing an acceptance and commitment therapy 9 week course starting in January that has its roots in mindfulness techniques.
I am trying to fix all of my stuff really quickly all at once. Since I quit alcohol just over a year ago I think my progress is OK. Maybe I can relax a bit more than I am. I only recently realised my anxiety was such a problem.
This podcast outlines my anxiety. It made me think though when you said it’s not your family. I never cared whether my family liked me or not. Maybe my sister, but my friends and people I didn’t know, that mattered to me. In the heart of my drinking I upset many.
I realise writing this to you that even though I worked through some of my issues, my thinking is still all over the place. Not a great deal of order to it. This is something I am aware of and I don’t have the benefit of hindsight yet. It is still too soon.
Your blog helps, I have listened to this 3 times so far, I’m sure it’s not the last time. If you have more thoughts on this topic that would be great.
Self esteem is something I am also learning and am interested in.
Thank you for these wonderful insights.
Paul
Hi Paul, dealing with other people can be a real challenge for me too sometimes. It is easy to know when something is illogical, but it still doesn’t stop me from being illogical . I feel that recovery is all about progress and this isn’t going to happen too fast for most of us. The main thing is that we are moving in the right direction; the fact that we would even consider such ideas, and not run away from them, is a sure sign of progress. I read somewhere that it is rare for people to make serious changes to their behaviour, but people in recovery need to make many such changes. This is a topic that I want to talk more about and I’ll do a post on it again soon.